10 Qualities of My Perfect Lover/Mate

Abbreviated Version

1) Must be able to love something other than me! It is essential like oxygen to a fire. I hate being smothered with too much time spent, too much love making, too much, “Honey, how was your day?”, too much dating, too much showing me you love me by doing my laundry, washing my car or typing my papers. I want to know about what makes your heart pound, what makes you lay awake in the middle of the night and what you believe defines you. If I know what you love, it will give me insight on how to love you.

2) Be willing to embrace the superficial, while living for the concrete! The world is saturated with meaningless people, places and things which can educate about how frivolous life is for the majority of persons on the globe. She would need to enjoy the small concrete things like watching sunrises/sets, watching children play in the park, listening to old folks lovingly ramble about how things ain’t how they used to be and why cotton candy is so damn sticky.

3) Be able to wade through my depressive moments… In general, I am strong, however, do some childhood trauma/abandonment, I occasionally question my worth/value to myself, loved ones and world at large. These times are filled with personal sorrow, which brings about quiet time for reflection and in-depth introspection; be patient, I will eventually resurface.

4) Be able to exist in dichotomy; hood and bourgeois. She needs to be able to coin flip and seamlessly jump from being able to address those with impoverished, middle class and wealthy mentalities while adjusting her conversation, behavior and appreciation for each accordingly.

5) Be able to appreciate Hip Hop culture without having to be a part of it. Hip Hop culture has quietly become the imprint of African American youth. In order to begin understanding how our youth think, you must be able to understand their musical influences. I’ve been a part of Hip Hop upwards of 20 years and would need a women with whom
I can have a casual or in-depth conversation about all that
Hip Hop was, is and will become.

6) Be able to love loving, being loved and be able to love me. I am no Romeo, however, my expressions of love are often unconventional, abstract and weird; so I hear. Meaning, I’ll never lay my $600 leather bomber down so you can compromise a muddy puddle, I may rarely open a door and I don’t do cards when I can write one myself. She must be able to let me love her my way while being open to teaching me the way she wants to be loved. She must be in love with loving for love sake, while nurturing our love for the sake of us.

7) Be able to compartmentalize her emotions, separating them from her actions. I want a woman who can think critically before making decisions that have long lasting repercussions. Her intellect will override her anger, jubilance in the times when it is most needed; all times. She will be able to still keep her commitments even though she is pissed to the point where she does not want to speak. SHE WILL STILL BE THERE FOR ME AND LET ME BE THERE FOR HER WITHOUT LOSING SIGHT OF “US” AND OUR GOALS.

8) Be able to tell her parents, siblings and friends when to mind their own business.
This one goes without explanation…

9) Be able to appreciate the competitive nature of sports. Life is sport! Everything is based on competition, remember, winning is not everything, it’s the only thing. Whether its seeing who can make whom have the most orgasms to seeing who can prepare the best dinner, she needs to understand WHY it is important to compete. In short, there is nothing wrong with seeing who can out love the other, regardless, we both win.

10) Be able to not tire of making love, *ucking and having sex. Exploration is the key here! The bed should be the last place we explore each other’s bodies unless we plan on going to sleep shortly after, the more foreign the place, the better.