Preventative Medicine

Walking Alone

Standing at ATM debating newest reason for investment,
pressing 4-8-0, currency falls into trembling hands,
regressive, hesitant, but necessary,
hating contemplation,
head to meet fate at place of condemnation,
need soul cleansing only found by wiping slate(s),
forms complete, services prepared for render,
wait… wait… wait…

…walk into modern lion’s den, nervous but eager,
anticipate emotional instability despite attempted
determent lecture, foreign sector…

…entering stirrups, feels like wearing stockings
for the first time, difficult to slide on,
Dorthy wishing I was home moments building,
starring toward ceiling, humming, wanting to drown out
small erratic heartbeats wavering in the near distance,
digital monitor, haunting, moving imagery,
believed screams sounding ultrasonic,
ironic,
no connection,
no affection,
thinking “no”,
intravenous penetration, faint…

…awaking amongst strangers all unclothed waist down,
now reality sinks in,
rationale meaning less, spiritually listless
propensity to vomit growing,
moments fleeting,
freshly picked womb bleeding,
each trickle arrived by fickle means,
ending in genes elimination,
obliterating seams of what heart remained,
awaiting pain is patient,
hovering, anticipating the arrival of joyful moments,
pounce…

Three months later, repetition…