Feminine Wash

Lesbian Definition
(Revisited)

I am lesbian for a variety of reasons,
which has brought my life through a variety of seasons, most cold like Chicago winters (pre-coming out),
most hot like Arizona summers (post-coming out),
cold,
like how I felt after my mother told me I was no longer her daughter;
hot,
like how I felt when my first female lover gently kissed my lips with passion,
burning like Vesuvius;
cold,
like how I feel towards men when I visit dying married women suffering from AIDS related complications acquired from adulterous soiled sheet nights by their “loyal” husbands;
hot,
like how I feel when insensitive men request trios after knowing my sexual orientation,
cheap compliments yielding cheap conversation,
confusing sensuality with erotica,
the creation of emotional bonds with the pursuit of S & M,
the spelling my name with a CAPITAL “B” after I said “No” to weak advances,
not because I was offended by his cheap cologne or his inability to hold a five minute conversation,
but because I’m lesbian.

I am lesbian for a variety of reasons,
but the most important is because I chose not to believe I chose to be…
I am lesbian for a variety of reasons, however,
the least important (too most people) is because I was born lesbian;
accept it or reject it…

I am lesbian for a variety of reasons,
the most meaningful is because I accepted it and with it validated love for myself,
understand how to relate to the world and why it is important for me to be myself;
because I, myself am lesbian…