Daddy’s Little Girls

The Big Bang Theory

It was the happiest day of his life,
though he had no “wife”,
“she” was pregnant, once, twice,
fraternal or identical was the mystery,
gingerly he planned the experience,
never being a father didn’t matter,
his focus was on the pitter, patter which held his attention
like he would hold their existence, calm,
but with a healthy paranoia,
the foyer was decorated in a meticulous manner,
pink balloons, streamers, teddy bears, rattles
and a large banner which read,
“WELCOME HOME”…

Prior to meeting Sheila he felt alone,
a half with no whole, an empty man with no role to play,
protector, provider,
he was a survivor, a L7,
the closest he’d been to Heaven
was when she asked him on their first date,
the place they met, irrelevant,
the fact they actually met, excellent, in his mind,
so much so, it defined his being,
his understanding of self, his seeing inward,
“she” symbolized the “Lord”,
he was a faithful worshipper,
obeyed her scripture,
paid tithes with offerings of undeniable love,
his need to have hers was above oxygen,
unfortunately, for him, it wouldn’t be enough…

Cell phone ringing, once, twice, thrice,
showering, unable to hear,
he prepared for annual “cross-country” conference presentation,
while bland voice mail greets Sheila,
panicked shrills recorded leaving incoherent message,
“sitting in pool of blood,”
“cramping badly, fallen,”
“children motionless,”
“love you, need you, now,”
dropped call…

All day he thought about her, his twins,
how his slight manic depression would end upon arrival,
idle was his mind during the returning flight,
hadn’t been able to reach her in two nights,
his plight to be a family man would truncate,
entering the gate to their estate he was greeted by police,
informing him all three of his love’s were deceased,
victim to pre-mature birth and “her” inability to dial 9-1-1,
falling,
shivering,
waiting,
afraid,
cold,
losing consciousness,
told luckily the girls were still born so they didn’t suffer,
what an emotional buffer delivered with such tact,
their bodies removed the day before in an attempt to spare
him additional emotional distress, yes,
he wanted to see them,
one for the last time, two for the first,
but he needed time to grieve,
asked the authorities to leave then loaded his revolver…

Life without her was unthinkable,
life without them was life without him…

BIG BANG!!!