Time 2 Man Up Revealed
Here are the "A's" to all of "Q's" ya'll asked,
hope the following will suffice...
Jojo D.: Why is it so hard for men to stand up
and start being the authoritative forces in their
relationships?
I certainly do not speak for the sum of men when answering
this question, but I shall do my best base on limited knowledge.
First, men who grew up in a family where daddy was the catalyst
for change have no problem taking the reigns of their
relationships. Second, some men have grown up in fatherless
homes where there was no active example of the aforementioned.
How can a man do something he’s never seen actively done?
The answer is he needs to be taught, not from a woman’s point
of view, but from a man who has a successful relationship.
Third, some women refused to be led by a man, due to a myriad
of issues, e. g. ego, even though they want to be in a
relationship. If a controlling woman is a part of the equation,
even the most authoritative man will have difficulty guiding
his woman in the right direction…
Shadowrite: What genre do you read most and what genre do
you like to write?
I probably like to read books which deal with manipulation,
e. g. "The 48 Laws of Power" by Robert Greene. My personal
favorite, “Law 18, Do Not Build Fortresses to Protect Yourself
– Isolation is Dangerous -- The world is dangerous and enemies
are everywhere – everyone has to protect themselves. A
fortress seems the safest. But isolation exposes you to more
dangers than it protects you from – it cuts you off from valuable
information, it makes you conspicuous and an easy target.
Better to circulate among people find allies, mingle. You are
shielded from your enemies by the crowd.” There is no specific
genre in which I write, my poems represent a wide variety of
perspectives; however, I am pretty damn good at the SHOCK ending.
Don’t know if they would count as a specific genre…
Royce’s Daughter: Assuming you had to opportunity, which
blogger would you most like to go out on a date with and why?
Trizzy would definitely be the blogger I’d most like to
go out on a date with for several reasons – 1) She recently
posted a positive rant about women needing to be more
supportive to the men they claim to love, which leads me
to believe she’d be catering, appreciative of my date efforts.
Whether it was dinner at Deep Fork Grill or a sunrise breakfast
off the coast of the southern Florida, it seems like she’d be
equally impressed. 2) I love the way her poetry rhymes,
the flow is liken to a female emcee so I’d be honored to listen
to her read “her” favorite pieces. 3) Recently, she has extended
her hand of friendship, for some reason I take her at face value.
Who better to take on a date than a woman who wants to be your
friend first?
Tenacious: What is it about some women that makes a guy want
to just smash rather than pursue a relationship?
I was told by a wise old man, “there are two types of women,
those whom you marry and those you fuck.” Initially,
I thought once I get married all the other women will be off
limits, however, over time I’ve grown to understand what he
meant. Now, to answer your question, when men meet women,
depending on the circumstance, where they meet and her attire,
I believe he instantly places her in one of three categories:
1) Fuckable, not the wifey type,
2) Not yet a bitch, but far from a wife,
3) She may be able to hold my attention long enough not to be
thrown in the first two,
If she can, more than likely he’ll want to pursue something
of substance; be it a friendship or a relationship. If she
can’t, after he has made the point evident he isn’t interested
in a friendship or relationship and she still wants to hang
around, then he may just have to bless her every now and again.
I almost forgot, there are some men who have a new woman,
serious relationship, but those women, who he thinks he
“respects” have a SEX DON’T DO LIST. The girl who wants to
just hang around doesn’t have such a list and because she
believes he won’t “judge her” since she isn’t his girl then
its on! The two are a deadly combination…
Blujewel: What was the trigger that made you write in the
first place, how old were you, and how has writing changed
your life?
Prior to expressing myself via this blog, I was an aspiring
emcee who released a cd in 2001. It was entitled HEAD CLINIC.
Prior to that, I’d never seriously written for consumption, just
for fun. Afterwards, I began writing with a purpose, thinking
about how my words effect the reader and wondering if each piece
I pen could make a difference. Now to answer your question directly,
Hip Hop is the trigger which made me want to write, want to rhyme.
I believe I was like 13, the first time I heard, “Its Like That” by
RUN DMC – I was hooked!!!!! My recent writing experience, since
March, has changed my life dramatically. It has shown sides of my
Johari window to me which I didn’t know existed. It has confirmed
the belief my writing is powerful. It has become a mechanism for
extending myself into the lives of others. It has become a part of who
I am in addition to what I am. In short, writing has became my best
friend, no longer my worst enemy because even though I absolutely LOVE
to write, I absolutely HATE to read!!!
Shelle: Seemingly there is not THE ONE woman out there who
possibly could satisfy all the needs of such a complicated man
as yourself...why did you choose to marry?
I chose to marry because, at the time, because I was what most would
identify with as “in love”. She was everything I needed, more
than what I wanted and most importantly, she had NO expectations
of “how” I should express love to her. In short, she was strength
during moments of weakness, however, now, I am no longer weak.
Advice to all women, patiently wait to be “there” for the man you
love, when the moment presents itself make the most of it; your
actions just might give you the rights to his last name…
Blkbutterfly: What's your biggest regret in life?
My BIGGEST REGRET in life is not making European American friends
during my collegiate undergraduate years. I spent most of those
years discovering my cultural esteem which forced me into a place
of anger. Unfortunately, I ended those years with minimal European
American acquaintances or friends, practically leaving me with a
homogenous undergraduate experience (all African American). Though
I love being directly connected to the African American experience,
I now realize it is not the whole of life. If you could go back in
time, would you change things? Certainly, I’d change things…
Xavier: Please tell us truthfully and completely which female
blogger you would most like to match lyrical wits with in a poetic
duet, and why?
I’d love to match lyrical wits with FALLEN ANGEL again. We have
yet to write a duet piece, but she did post a response to a piece
I authored entitled, “I Love the 21st Letter”. It was amazing,
she is a brilliant writer. She is my poetry mentor. She knows
the depths of my pain. She would likely present the most difficult
challenge, besides, she forces me to write from a place of emotion
– my place of least like.
Darling Nikki: Is there any moment in your life where you felt
as though the words flowed more brilliantly than any other moment?
Yes, the moment I wrote Child-like Explorations, the piece about
a father raping, killing his daughter. Like was there a situation
that inspired you to write what you felt was your best ish yet?
Not necessarily, however, I have been in the zone where I cranked
out like 30 pieces in two days; practically lived at the computer
during that moment. If so, what was that moment? The moment was in
2002, when I worked at Oklahoma State University. It was weird, so
many minds, so much good conversation, the whole environment was the
catalyst for the aforementioned piece and several others. In roughly
11 months, I authored approximately 81 pieces, all originating from
various places.
Nique: What is the most powerful piece of knowledge you have
acquired through your life time and how do you assert that into your
being as a man?
The most powerful piece of knowledge I’ve acquired is that my
life is a legacy to my children. Therefore, the following goal
has become my primary purpose in life: to be able, through the
quality of my work, open all the doors to my children that I was
denied access. Plan and simp pimp!!!!
Sangindiva: Name 3 things a woman can do to get into the most
tender place in your heart...
1) Cook my favorite meal without first being prompted by a request
(veal or lamb chops – peach cobbler for dessert). 2) Try not to
impress me by overdoing her, BE YOURSELF REGARDLESS of what you
THINK makes me fall for you. 3) She needs to listen to me better
than she speaks; with the same intensity.
Ms. Ahmad: umm, tell me a story about my little brother. I don't
know if that's a question but it's indeed an inquiry on my part. Tell
me a story plain and simple something that makes you feel like my Lil
Brother is your brother…
The story I could tell is one when he was pledging, can’t put him
out there via blog so I’ll have to get back to you on this particular
question…
Princessdominique: What was the most romantic thing a woman has
ever done for you?
Allowing me to massage her feet with my mouth while at our favorite
restaurant. Wait a minute, I think that was supposed to be for her.
Let me see… It would have to be allowing me to cry on shoulder
without thinking I was less of a man for doing so – especially during
my moments of greatest displeasure.
Delaleuverses: What holds the key to your heart?
Watching my father show my mother affection. Even thought the
pats on the ass are a bit over the top. He is the perfect example
of how a man should treat his wife and I love him for it!
What makes your toes curl?
Strong foreplay before, strong Kagle muscles during and strong
conversation afterwards…
Ms. Glorious: What made you open yourself up to the blogging
community?
Fallen Angel and my girl Lillian, they both gave me the first steps,
then I ran with the ball.
Are you really married? Yes, of course I’m married, isn’t everyone
in blogville;?
hope the following will suffice...
Jojo D.: Why is it so hard for men to stand up
and start being the authoritative forces in their
relationships?
I certainly do not speak for the sum of men when answering
this question, but I shall do my best base on limited knowledge.
First, men who grew up in a family where daddy was the catalyst
for change have no problem taking the reigns of their
relationships. Second, some men have grown up in fatherless
homes where there was no active example of the aforementioned.
How can a man do something he’s never seen actively done?
The answer is he needs to be taught, not from a woman’s point
of view, but from a man who has a successful relationship.
Third, some women refused to be led by a man, due to a myriad
of issues, e. g. ego, even though they want to be in a
relationship. If a controlling woman is a part of the equation,
even the most authoritative man will have difficulty guiding
his woman in the right direction…
Shadowrite: What genre do you read most and what genre do
you like to write?
I probably like to read books which deal with manipulation,
e. g. "The 48 Laws of Power" by Robert Greene. My personal
favorite, “Law 18, Do Not Build Fortresses to Protect Yourself
– Isolation is Dangerous -- The world is dangerous and enemies
are everywhere – everyone has to protect themselves. A
fortress seems the safest. But isolation exposes you to more
dangers than it protects you from – it cuts you off from valuable
information, it makes you conspicuous and an easy target.
Better to circulate among people find allies, mingle. You are
shielded from your enemies by the crowd.” There is no specific
genre in which I write, my poems represent a wide variety of
perspectives; however, I am pretty damn good at the SHOCK ending.
Don’t know if they would count as a specific genre…
Royce’s Daughter: Assuming you had to opportunity, which
blogger would you most like to go out on a date with and why?
Trizzy would definitely be the blogger I’d most like to
go out on a date with for several reasons – 1) She recently
posted a positive rant about women needing to be more
supportive to the men they claim to love, which leads me
to believe she’d be catering, appreciative of my date efforts.
Whether it was dinner at Deep Fork Grill or a sunrise breakfast
off the coast of the southern Florida, it seems like she’d be
equally impressed. 2) I love the way her poetry rhymes,
the flow is liken to a female emcee so I’d be honored to listen
to her read “her” favorite pieces. 3) Recently, she has extended
her hand of friendship, for some reason I take her at face value.
Who better to take on a date than a woman who wants to be your
friend first?
Tenacious: What is it about some women that makes a guy want
to just smash rather than pursue a relationship?
I was told by a wise old man, “there are two types of women,
those whom you marry and those you fuck.” Initially,
I thought once I get married all the other women will be off
limits, however, over time I’ve grown to understand what he
meant. Now, to answer your question, when men meet women,
depending on the circumstance, where they meet and her attire,
I believe he instantly places her in one of three categories:
1) Fuckable, not the wifey type,
2) Not yet a bitch, but far from a wife,
3) She may be able to hold my attention long enough not to be
thrown in the first two,
If she can, more than likely he’ll want to pursue something
of substance; be it a friendship or a relationship. If she
can’t, after he has made the point evident he isn’t interested
in a friendship or relationship and she still wants to hang
around, then he may just have to bless her every now and again.
I almost forgot, there are some men who have a new woman,
serious relationship, but those women, who he thinks he
“respects” have a SEX DON’T DO LIST. The girl who wants to
just hang around doesn’t have such a list and because she
believes he won’t “judge her” since she isn’t his girl then
its on! The two are a deadly combination…
Blujewel: What was the trigger that made you write in the
first place, how old were you, and how has writing changed
your life?
Prior to expressing myself via this blog, I was an aspiring
emcee who released a cd in 2001. It was entitled HEAD CLINIC.
Prior to that, I’d never seriously written for consumption, just
for fun. Afterwards, I began writing with a purpose, thinking
about how my words effect the reader and wondering if each piece
I pen could make a difference. Now to answer your question directly,
Hip Hop is the trigger which made me want to write, want to rhyme.
I believe I was like 13, the first time I heard, “Its Like That” by
RUN DMC – I was hooked!!!!! My recent writing experience, since
March, has changed my life dramatically. It has shown sides of my
Johari window to me which I didn’t know existed. It has confirmed
the belief my writing is powerful. It has become a mechanism for
extending myself into the lives of others. It has become a part of who
I am in addition to what I am. In short, writing has became my best
friend, no longer my worst enemy because even though I absolutely LOVE
to write, I absolutely HATE to read!!!
Shelle: Seemingly there is not THE ONE woman out there who
possibly could satisfy all the needs of such a complicated man
as yourself...why did you choose to marry?
I chose to marry because, at the time, because I was what most would
identify with as “in love”. She was everything I needed, more
than what I wanted and most importantly, she had NO expectations
of “how” I should express love to her. In short, she was strength
during moments of weakness, however, now, I am no longer weak.
Advice to all women, patiently wait to be “there” for the man you
love, when the moment presents itself make the most of it; your
actions just might give you the rights to his last name…
Blkbutterfly: What's your biggest regret in life?
My BIGGEST REGRET in life is not making European American friends
during my collegiate undergraduate years. I spent most of those
years discovering my cultural esteem which forced me into a place
of anger. Unfortunately, I ended those years with minimal European
American acquaintances or friends, practically leaving me with a
homogenous undergraduate experience (all African American). Though
I love being directly connected to the African American experience,
I now realize it is not the whole of life. If you could go back in
time, would you change things? Certainly, I’d change things…
Xavier: Please tell us truthfully and completely which female
blogger you would most like to match lyrical wits with in a poetic
duet, and why?
I’d love to match lyrical wits with FALLEN ANGEL again. We have
yet to write a duet piece, but she did post a response to a piece
I authored entitled, “I Love the 21st Letter”. It was amazing,
she is a brilliant writer. She is my poetry mentor. She knows
the depths of my pain. She would likely present the most difficult
challenge, besides, she forces me to write from a place of emotion
– my place of least like.
Darling Nikki: Is there any moment in your life where you felt
as though the words flowed more brilliantly than any other moment?
Yes, the moment I wrote Child-like Explorations, the piece about
a father raping, killing his daughter. Like was there a situation
that inspired you to write what you felt was your best ish yet?
Not necessarily, however, I have been in the zone where I cranked
out like 30 pieces in two days; practically lived at the computer
during that moment. If so, what was that moment? The moment was in
2002, when I worked at Oklahoma State University. It was weird, so
many minds, so much good conversation, the whole environment was the
catalyst for the aforementioned piece and several others. In roughly
11 months, I authored approximately 81 pieces, all originating from
various places.
Nique: What is the most powerful piece of knowledge you have
acquired through your life time and how do you assert that into your
being as a man?
The most powerful piece of knowledge I’ve acquired is that my
life is a legacy to my children. Therefore, the following goal
has become my primary purpose in life: to be able, through the
quality of my work, open all the doors to my children that I was
denied access. Plan and simp pimp!!!!
Sangindiva: Name 3 things a woman can do to get into the most
tender place in your heart...
1) Cook my favorite meal without first being prompted by a request
(veal or lamb chops – peach cobbler for dessert). 2) Try not to
impress me by overdoing her, BE YOURSELF REGARDLESS of what you
THINK makes me fall for you. 3) She needs to listen to me better
than she speaks; with the same intensity.
Ms. Ahmad: umm, tell me a story about my little brother. I don't
know if that's a question but it's indeed an inquiry on my part. Tell
me a story plain and simple something that makes you feel like my Lil
Brother is your brother…
The story I could tell is one when he was pledging, can’t put him
out there via blog so I’ll have to get back to you on this particular
question…
Princessdominique: What was the most romantic thing a woman has
ever done for you?
Allowing me to massage her feet with my mouth while at our favorite
restaurant. Wait a minute, I think that was supposed to be for her.
Let me see… It would have to be allowing me to cry on shoulder
without thinking I was less of a man for doing so – especially during
my moments of greatest displeasure.
Delaleuverses: What holds the key to your heart?
Watching my father show my mother affection. Even thought the
pats on the ass are a bit over the top. He is the perfect example
of how a man should treat his wife and I love him for it!
What makes your toes curl?
Strong foreplay before, strong Kagle muscles during and strong
conversation afterwards…
Ms. Glorious: What made you open yourself up to the blogging
community?
Fallen Angel and my girl Lillian, they both gave me the first steps,
then I ran with the ball.
Are you really married? Yes, of course I’m married, isn’t everyone
in blogville;?
posted by SLUMP FACADE at 6:55:00 PM
True, true. So, true, Glass Rose. I like this answer to my inquiry.
But might I add: Some men in general are afraid to be the authoritative force in their relationship because they are afraid to actually say to their women (at the moment they need to): "Yo, I got this one. You sit down and be quiet and let me handle this..."
They're afraid of the "stand back on one leg, put a hand on her hip, wave her finger in the air, and roll her neck with the "You don't tell me what to do" comeback from their women. There's nothing more pathetic and repulsive than that sight right there. How can a man lead and guide when he has to combat that?
"she forces me to write from a place of emotion-my place of least like."
thank you for the kind words sir. honestly, i do for you what you do for me...my own poetry mentor taught me that! ;-)
Thank you Slump :-)
b, thank you for your honesty and very interesting insight on all the answers.
what do u have for us? oh lawd lol
Thank you for sharing yourself with us and for answering my question. I really can appreciate you both as a person and as a secure/strong black man. You are a testiment to your gender.
Wow, feet in the mouth! Scared of you.
geat answer.
umm i'm gonna let this slide but i'm gonna need some type of real answer from you!